Law and Order

Has been officially canceled. While bemoaning the news with my distract-me-at-work-with-IMs-friend Brianna, I realize I've been paying way too much attention to this show ever since I was seven:

me: Law and Order has been official canceled.

I'm sad.

Brianna: wow, all of them?

like SVU and whatever else?

me: Nah, just the original.

But still! Jack McCoy, man!

Brianna: haha

me: He was a scary ass crazy old man WITH the death penalty!

Brianna: aw. i think i've seen like, two episodes :X

me: It's okay.

Here's how the show went:

1) Bitch(es) got murdered

2) Cops went out and found someone who they were sure did it, only we were only 15 minutes into the show.

3) That guy didn't do it. But ohnotheydidn't here's another guy who totally did!

4) Guy goes on trial (30 minutes into hour). Jack McCoy thinks it's a slam dunk, he gets foiled by some uppity defense attorney.

5) Jack's hot assistant DA chick said some stuff, wearing a short skirt.

6) They totally got the guy in the end, and now he's going down because YOU DON'T FUCK WITH JACK MCCOY.

7) Fade to black.
Brianna : hahaha awesome

Ya here that, NBC? You just stole a Police Procedural Part of my Childhood!

Law and Order taught me things about

• critical thinking ("If we're only five minutes into the show, that guy didn't do it even if he is a Neo-Nazi.")
• pattern recognition ("She's the first person they interviewed, and she looks totally innocent-- she's totally guilty.")
• and enough about the legal system to B.S. my way through every conversation that's ever mentioned legality ever and convince everyone I know what I'm talking about ("The burden of proof for insanity is on the defense, and they have to prove that the defendant was incapable of knowing right from wrong in the moment.")

 Important things! Things that are imprinted on my brain to this very day! Where will today's youth get these lessons? Huh? Won't someone please think of the children!