Saturday, May 1, 2010

Spotlight: NYPL Research Branch

Because I'm spending the next month living in it to finish the Big Damn Thesis, I thought today might be a good time to focus in like a laser on the NYPL Research Branch. Also known as the ones with the lions in front.

Here goes.

The lions are parked outside of the building to instill a fear of learning in all who see them. At night they roam the streets and feed upon those who don't pay their fines, and on deer. What's that you say? Clair, I've never seen deer in New York City? That's because Patience and Fortitude eat them. Der.


That's right, they have names-- Patience and Fortitude, because Aslan and Simba were already taken.

(And frankly, those wussy little Jesus/Hamlet wannabes are pansies compared to the NYPL lions. Oh boo hoo, a witch killed me and cut off all my hair and daddy got stepped on by a wildebeest and my uncle's Jeremy Irons. Cry me the Hudson, you winy fluff balls.)

The outside also has beautiful sculptures, greenery, and this awesome plaque reading "But Above All Things, Truth Beareth Away the Victory."

Which is the ultimate "I got swirlies in middle school from a bully" slogan-- Truth makes your victory hollow and proves me the victor! Even if I smell like Clorox toilet treatment! So there!

(Brief pause for historical truth: The full line is from the Book of Esdras (Ezra) in answer to a question as to what the strongest thing in the world is: "Women are strongest: but above all things Truth beareth away the Victory." That's right-- the NYPL recognizes the strength of the almighty uterus. Rock on, uterus.)

When you get inside, after you get your bag searched by a disinterested looking security guard, you're going to have a few knights-and-princesses castle fantasies. These are completely normal, don't fight them.

Try and pick out the best places to fight off the hoards of invaders, and remember that the princess is in the highest room of the tallest tower.

The Research Branch itself was designed to be a cathedral to the religion of books and learning, and since the Astor's had more money than God, they built one pretty altar.

High ceilings, lots of marble, arching doorways and places for you to pause and go "Holy wowzas, this is gorgeous."

See that ceiling? Your ceiling isn't that cool. And that's not even one of the major rooms, they just felt like doing it! That's the guest bedroom, guys, and it's prettier than most friggin' houses!

You want major rooms, you check out the Reading Room. In fact, here, check this out: 

Yeah. Now that's a reading room. That's gold right there, my friends. I'm talking more books than you could ever need, tables that stretch forever with plugs at each seat, free wireless internet, and quiet study for as long as your little heart desires (i.e. 1-5 on Sundays). 

You can see more images on the NYPL Digital Archives (because someone realized it was smart to host their own pictures to show off how awesome they are) or just wander in. You know that whatever you're doing right this moment isn't nearly as cool as wandering a big castle/cathedral building full of books and statues and princesses.

1 comment:

  1. I got engaged behind Fortitude. Which has a much better ring than I got engaged behind a stripper named Aslan.

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