Sunday, December 27, 2009

Plans for the Spring of 2010

C2E2. A six day vacation from all responsibility, common sense, proper eating and bathing habits, and polite conversation skills.

A vacation where I get to run around and glomp on people in socially inappropriate and yet somehow still accepted situations. Hand cute comics out to kids, wander the show floor and boss thousands of people around while perpetuating the myth that I somehow know more about what's going on than they do.

Fools. Bwah ha.

Plans for the Summer of 2010

Yes, I am making them already. This winter bullshit is just a trend, I tell you. A passing flight of fancy on the part of these young people. It'll blow over!

1) Beaches
The place with sand and Coronas, not the movie with Midler. There will be a visit this summer to several beaches, including one where I can choose not to wear a top. Because that's how my clothing optional summer should be, damn it.

2) Shakespeare in the Park
With the Lesbian Posse. We're gonna culture this bad boy up.

3) Swimming
In the itsy bitsy teenie weenie hot pink string bikini I bought and wore to lie around and look sexy in.

4) Big Damn Trip
Possibly rescheduled to instead of being a European Extravaganza, a Big Gay Retreat Where We Can Learn How to Make Candles And Have Communal Showers. I will bring several razors, and avoid patchouli oil, promise.

5) Summer Evenings in the Park
Because this seems like a good plan.

6) A General Lack of Responsibility
Once my degree is finalized, and I never have to learn anything ever again ever, there are going to be picnics and late nights of drinking and possibly setting fire to something!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Censorship and Children

So there's this article/news story being bounced around about these two library staffers who either "took a stand" or "violated the First Amendment." An 11 year old had put a volume of "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" on hold, the staffers thought that inappropriate reading for her age group, and removed it from the hold shelf.

The bit that hadn't really been discussed until now is that before this hold thing came up, the staffer had been repeatedly checking the item out and renewing so that no one they deemed "children" could see it, lest their poor virgin eyes be scarred and burned forever.

The fact that this idiocy also eliminated access for consenting adults notwithstanding, there's a whole sub debate going down about the wrongful titling of the staffers as "Librarians" by the new media. Librarians keep posting to forums about how "No! Not us! We'd never do that! It's those bad staffers without masters accreditation, hiss booo!"

And of course we do, and of course we would.

Not that it's okay, not that I support it or plan to do it knowingly, but librarians censor their own collections and their patrons every day of the week, whether by the location of the books, the placement of the displays, or just not buying the title in the first place.

If a librarian knows that a title is going to be a pain in the butt, or it simply makes him/her uncomfortable enough in their own right, they won't purchase the book for their collection. Budgets are tight enough; spending money on a book that you know is going to walk off the shelf or generate complaint letters is something most librarians would rather avoid if they can.

Aside from that, these articles and these women constantly refer to "the children!" as if wringing their hands and shrieking their outrage ala Mrs. Lovejoy will somehow protect the little darlings from sexually implied content for the rest of their lives. It constantly surprises me how much people tend to forget about what they were like when they were 11, 12, etc.

You were a tiny, pimply, little perv, and you know it. Every 10 year old I knew was drawing boobies on the bus seats, and even if we didn't quite understand the appeal of spin the bottle yet, no one wanted to be the one to admit it, and we played it when we could anyways.

Also, Young Adults and Children are two very separate categories in literature. Recognize that, and stop using them as interchangable terms when the mood suits you, Unnamed Person I'm Criticising.

Having actually *read* the book in question (which is a great part of the article, where the woman talks about how she actually had to be forced to read it to prepare her final challenge, and had people praying over her to keep those dirty things from imprinting upon her mind) I can tell you that yes, Alan Moore is a dirty weird old homeless man who totally wants to end society as a whole and had no bones about portraying nudity, sex, violence, drug addiction, or any number of other things.

But frankly, Gossip Girl is more sexual, and the average 11 year old is just going to be more confused about what the hell is going on, and what's with all the colonialism.

Reason Number Twenty Seven I Love Librarians

Because librarians, man, they've got your back. I was an accountant for like four years, and those guys throw you so far under the bus you find tread marks in your underwear.

Not librarians/librarians-in-training.

Librarians, when their colleagues (*cough* me *cough*) are locked out of registration for their final semester because of a late fee they can only pay in person at Flushing; man, you know what librarians do? Librarians go "Oh, hey, man, one second... okay, you're all set, we've got this, don't worry."

Librarians. Have. Got. Your. Back.

The end, IFYM.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

2 New Life Goals

1) I want to be put on microfilm. (Cuz dude, that's like the closest thing to format immortality ever.)

2) I want a livejournal community/"fandom" devoted to me. I haven't figured out just how/what I'm going to do that qualifies as squeeworthy or impressive, but I'll get there. Ala Mishaland.

One day. One day.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Fines Suck, Wii is Fun

So I posted this idea a while ago, but the discussion last week on how to get people to fill out a survey got me thinking about it again.

You're trying to engage teens, right? Or just patrons in general, whathaveyou. And we've recognized that most people are cheap and want to get the library fines to go away as painlessly as possible. Plus, teens like people paying attention to them and competition that doesn't make them feel judged or like an outcast.


Teens versus the librarian in a contest of their choosing (within a set list of maybe twelve options). If you can beat me in xyz, I waive your fines.

So bring on the Mario Kart tournament, my Bowser will totally p0wn your Princess Peach, Random Example Teenager! YuGiOh? YuGiNo! As in no way are you beating me, *snap* *snap*.


Have a beat the librarian night, and either way you win. If they beat you, they love it, you've just gotten proof for the other teens that it can be done and managed to engage others in a cheap and easy way (word of mouth). If you beat them, they become even more determined to try it again--- let them sign up again for the next BEAT THE LIBRARIAN NIGHT, or best out of three it, depending on the situation.

(Also, provide snacks. That seems to be a running theme.)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Video Games

Okay, so here's my thought:

Kids are not as dumb as we seem to think they are.

Yes, teenagers can overestimate their abilities, caught up in the fiction that they are immortal and invincible, but they're not dumb. They know the difference between reality and fiction, and if they don't that's not because they're a teenager: it's because they've got serious psychological problems that library content choices can't impact.

We'd fight to let a teenager have access to a book that talked about sexual orientation, drug addiction, substance abuse problems, abusive relationships, dating advice, and a whole host of other issues that teenagers are actually being confronted with on a regular basis-- I really don't see the problem in letting them have access to a video game. Their real lives seem a lot scarier than whatever they could be doing in Grand Theft Auto.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Ways of Killing Twenty Minutes

Reading other people's blogs!

The Subway Book Club
Some guy on the subway checking out what everyone else is reading. I like this because a) it's well-written and b) I do the same thing, I'm just not articulate or well-read enough to know what to say about those titles.

Awful Library Books
Blog from a weeder going through terrible books in her library. Titles featured include such gems as "What to Do About Your Brain Injured Child" (happily rainbow colored-- your child may have cerebral palsy, but he is fabulous) and "So You're Adopted" (squiggly letters make things easier to deal with).

Everything is Terrible
Think of this as an informercial archive. Some person has all these old VHS tapes. Some person has enough time on their hands. Result: Awesome hilarity.

Monday, August 17, 2009

"If Your Man Can't Do This, Dump Him!"

So remember the whole "We should document street and subway performances! This needs to be done! Whee!" thing? 

Apparently no one else has done it. And I've managed to convince/con Professor Alexander (see: nice man who is making me a special archivist for Queens College come fall, and I want to have finding aid babies with) that it's a good idea. So he wants to have lunch and discus how to do it and generally help me make this happen. 

I feel awesome. And on the cutting edge. Somehow, I've found a profession that thinks I'm special/promising/irritating-enough-to-bribe-to-go-away. This is rather nice, and a great improvement from accounting, where they thought I was a warm body to slip into a cubicle. 

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Dear Queens College

It's been a week. Post my summer 2009 grades so I can evaluate myself based on arbitrarily assigned letters that won't actually have any impact on my ability or likelihood of having a career.

No love,

Saturday, August 1, 2009

RSS Feeds

I can code one. I just can't figure out where to upload it to actually evaluate if it works. Therefore, html!fail. 

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

"Ladies and Gentlemen, We'd Appreciate Anything You Can Give."

So I have this idea that just won't go away.

You know the guys on the subways who put on the boom box and dance and hang from the ceiling and announce loudly "LADIES, IF YOUR MAN CAN'T DO THIS-- DUMP HIM!" ? And the guy in the Bryant Park station who plays the violin like a retarded five year old, but plays for hours on end and gets fatty-cash for it?

Of course you do.

Someone has to film and archive these things, I've decided. The same way we'd film and record a performance in Central Park or on the stage, someone has to be documenting these things. I refuse to believe that I'm the only one who's thought of this-- or even the first-- and am therefore dedicating my spare time to finding out who the heck is doing it. Because someone must be.

And, on the rare, off-chance that they aren't, starting a grass-roots, fist in the air, General-in-the-Information-Army charge to get it done. Someone must be doing this; it's culture, and it's here, and the kind of thing I would totally waste five hours watching on YouTube and going "oooooh, wow, how hip!"

Friday, July 17, 2009


Emily Lloyd has children. This indicates that she is either
a) not as gay as I thought
b) in a committed relationship
c) a MILF

My heart is broken. How could you do this to me, hypothetical-I've-never-met-you-future-wife? All of those times we would have had together? All of the lesbian sexing we could have done?


Thursday, July 16, 2009


Musty book smell in a can. It's like perfume for librarians. *cough* Who never want to get laid *cough*

Smell of Books.Com

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The AALL Conference

I get to go! And by get to, I mean am being required to by my job, but still! Conference! That's like the grown up word for slumber party!

Also, the website for the AALL Conference "What To Do While You're Here" lists:

This is made of win. Officially, made of win.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Wah Waaaaah

Made an ass of myself in class, but learned a valuable lesson! 

(I tell myself this is the only thing that matters.) 

So there's this journal: Mankind Quarterly which is dedicated to peer-reviewed, scholarly articles that show how the white race is superior and everyone else is step below on the genetic ladder. If the people in the Klan were literate, this would be their journal. 

Professor Wilson is talking about how a way to evaluate the worthwhileness of a journal is to check out WorldCat and see how many people have it. I do this, and find out that a whole ass-load of people have this journal, including the NYPL and a lot of the CUNYs, and make a face that starts a conversation where my initial reaction is "BAD! THIS! BAD!" 

To which the blonde across the way from me goes "I believe that this has the right to be in the collection, and is valuable for what we can learn from it-- it's an important research tool." 

And I, who am writing my paper arguing that public libraries have to house and circulate pornographic films, go "Oh. Wait. I'm an idiot." 

Lesson To Be Learned: When people say "Why is this in the collection! Why are my tax dollars going to pay for this filth! What the hell is this!?" 

Their reaction is both understandable and human, and since I'm capable of responding in the same way, I have to respect it. 

(And find a way around it.) 


Monday, July 6, 2009

Some of These Books are in my Father's Collection

Awful Library Books

Reason number sixteen I love the Internet.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Things I Have to Figure Out for The BDT

Apparently, when I go, I'll still count as a youth. Rock on mom and dad for not conceiving me until you did. Very convenient. 

Do I want a Hostelling Membership? There is some comfort in the idea of the hostels being screened and ready and in pretty, pretty places just waiting for me to come and see them. 

What the hell do I do once I get there? 

I've decided that the reason I like this so much is that it appeals to both my desire to be irresponsible and spend money (not to mention how much I love traveling) but also because it's one giant research project for me to play with. 

I love research projects where I'm not getting graded. They're the best. 

Also: As Featured in My Dreams Last Night

I had a dream last night that Michael Gorman came into my library and not only did I refuse to serve him, but I kicked him in the stomach. 

He absorbed the blow (think The Blob) and then called me a pseudo librarian, to which point I embarked on a long-winded and particularly articulate lecture on how he was a dying voice in library sciences who not only violated the very principles that our profession was based on, but would die very soon and because of the "inferior" education received by today's library sciences students, no one would remember his name except Wikipedia-- the ultimate of all ironies. 

I love library science dreams. 


Big Damn Trip

I've decided that, after library school and quitting the job, I am going to travel the world for a few months, see as much of it as I possibly can, and then come back and settle into my life again. 

Because I never got to do it in college or after college, and I miss feeling all worldly and having a grand old time for myself in another country. 

So far, here's the running tally of countries that are flittering through the itinerary: 

1) Iceland
2) Italy
3) Turkey
4) Namibia
5) Estonia (?) 
6) Japan (?)
7) Israel (again) (?)

Things I need to do: 

1) Save up more money
2) Find a traveling companion that won't drive me/get driven spare by the whole thing

This plan is going to happen. I've officially decided. I am going to go to the other side of the world and play around and have a grand old time for myself and nothing is going to stop that. 

Except for my understanding of geography. I have a feeling that half of these countries (not including Namibia) are anywhere close to the other ones. 


Motivational Reading Techniques Fail

Motivational Reading Techniques as summed up by Melissa:

"You should give me a back rub. I will totally read if you give me a back rub."

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Things to Do When I'm a Real Librarian

Librarian Throw Down: If you can beat the librarian in X challenge, your fines are waived.

Wii Bowling!

Limbo Contest!

Lip Synching!

Combining the best ways to get people into the library-- things completely unrelated to books and cheapness.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Good to Know

If you don't pay Queens College for library classes, they cancel them. It's an interesting kind of thing, actually.

Note: You can get around this by paying the activity fee.

Double Note: The people you pay (Bursar's Office) are snippy, mean, and look at you like you're dumb as a sack of hair. Which is an interesting situation when you consider that they are the ones who have actually chosen to spend their lives working in the Bursar's Office.

When I grow up and manage to bud and create a mini-me, I'm going to take them to office buildings and places of general administration and say "See this, honey? This is why you study hard in school!"