Thursday, June 24, 2010

*ded of cute*

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

New Job!


This is New!Job Coffee.
I have been MIA. And not the crazy singer MIA, the absentee friend and associate MIA. Like, text messages on my phone that haven't been read, emails threads that I haven't chimed in on, plans that I haven't formalized even as they approach and friends start to go "Wow. Clair's kinda a schmuck."

I am! I totally am! But I have a great excuse, I swear. And this excuses name is New Job, hence forth referred to for the sake of nerd simplicity as New!Job. 

And because explaining all of the stuff I've spent the last week doing and learning and trying would take a really long post with a lot of words that I'm not coherent enough to spell out, we're going to do this in the universal language of pretty cell-phone pictures. 

Cuz that's how the Tower of Babel was built, my biblically unversed friends.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Ways to Save Your Library Money (Furreals)

If working for the Friendly Neighborhood Wexis Competitor has taught me anything, it's this:
it doesn't count as cheating the system if you understand how the system works. 


Things to Know When Dealing with Vendors

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Rainy Days in New York

Bring out my biggest New York Pet-Peeve since ever.

Jerks who use golf-umbrellas on rainy days.

Yeah, it looks trendy when you're playing golf. I'm sure it impresses the other golfers in their funny pants and little hats and shoes with the spikes on them. They all go home and talk about what a great umbrella that was and how cool you are, I'm sure.

I go home and hope you get hit by a car, or swept away on a British-bound wind like Mary Poppins. You jerk.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Children of Dune: Still Pretty Awesome

Today in Things That Are Still Awesome Even After I Graduated High School: Dune and Children of Dune.

Picture this giant friggin' desert. Arid, dry, full of a whole lotta nothing. And in this desert full of a whole lotta nothing, these giant friggin' worms go around pooping out crack.

Not just ordinary crack-- this is like Super-Crack. It makes your eyes really awesome, and gives you super powers, and if your mom uses while she's pregnant instead of getting a crack-baby, she gets a Super-Crack baby who is super brilliant, knows the future, and sees dead people (in their brain).

If you're thinking "Wow, this sounds kinda awesome. Slash cracked out," then you sir are correct! And if you're thinking "There must have been a SciFi original movie for this crap," then pick your door prize because today we are discussing Dune and Children of Dune.


Thursday, June 3, 2010

My Name is Michael Weston. I'm Really Hot.

Person you should know today: Jeffrey Donovan.

My first exposure to Mr. Look-At-My-Sexy-Armpits-Donovan came in the 90s show "The Pretender." The general plot of The Pretender is that Michael T Weiss is a super genius who's been kept in a basement for 25 years, and Andrea Parker has great legs and the general desire to mess your shit up.

See? Those are some great legs on top of those CRAZYEYES.

Donovan played the crazy half-brother of Weiss for all of 3 episodes, and was all "Imma kill people!" and then Weiss was all "nooooooo!" And then Donovan was all "*iz dead*" and that was that.

Then, someone gave Bruce Willis a show, and he decided to make a US version of "Touching Evil." And against all odds (and its short-lived run) it was *friggin* awesome. Including Donovan playing a not-quite-as-crazy as before guy who gets shot in the head and all of a sudden goes from being an okay cop to an amazing I UNDERSTAND THE CRIMINAL MIND cop.

Donovan fought crime and pedophiles and bad stuff, and almost made out with his partner (the chick from that Clooney movie about firing people and gaining frequent flier miles), and lo, it was good. Download it illegally and check it out sometime.

Now, though, we have Donovan as he is meant to be: making out with Gabrielle Anwar, doing voice overs about how to invade Guatemala and escape from a coffin, and spending a lot of time with Bruce Campbell.

Speaking of, tomorrow's person you should know: Bruce Campbell.